by Kurt Opprecht
Courtesy of the House & Senate Republican Conference
Dear John Q. Public,
Thank you for contacting me regarding Social Security. Karl Rove and the GOP messaging team have made this a priority issue, so it's natural that you're scared to death.
Our bloated government is now paying the price for having funded Social Security on what is basically a pyramid scheme. In 1950, there were 16 workers paying into Social Security for every one beneficiary. But when younger workers retire, there will only be two workers contributing, one of which will be Hispanic. It's true that the Social Security Trust Fund is now running surpluses, (that's part of what's keeping the budget deficit as small as it is) but our own "accountants" assure us these funds will be depleted by 2042. Waiting until then would give liberals the opportunity to change the triply regressive Social Security tax base. That is why we are fomenting a "crisis" now.
Blue state Democrats like John Kerry, Hillary Clinton and Alec Baldwin want our most patriotic citizens to fork over payroll tax on annual income over $90,000, and thus pay into to Social Security all year long like a minimum-wage waitress. That's the easy way out. From Christopher Columbus to Evel Knievel, America has been a land of adventurers and risk-takers. Shouldn't our government institutions reflect our adventurous nature?
We must destroy Social Security in order to save it. Please support me and our very moral president in taking swift, resolute, and risky measures before Hollywood and the liberal media hijack the issue with their lies. I believe that creating personal accounts that allow our savvy workers to invest their own Social Security funds in fine companies such as Halliburton, Union Carbide and Monsanto will help distract attention from the funding issue. It's true that the transition to private accounts will cost trillions of dollars, but rest assured that this money will go into the private sector -- executives, lawyers, bankers and brokers, all of them patriotic U.S. citizens -- not the U.S. Government.
The time has come to stop asking our Social Security System to be a huge safety net for America's old and crippled. I ask you, what good is a safety net if it's supported on the back of the American taxpayer?
Heartfelt and sincerely,
Member, United States Congress
Copyright Kurt Opprecht, 2005