Not New Orleans, but Minneapolis. Our flight leaves JFK at 8:20, and my nerves are jangling at 1:20. Already there have been preemptive raids, seizures and arrests by Minneapolis cops.
Coverage of the raids by Star Tribune
I haven't ever been arrested in this country, and I had been naively thinking that the down home Minnesotan boys in blue might be more likely to behave themselves than the Daly fuzz of 1968. But then, forty years is older than the average cop, and why should I assume they'd much care? There have already been seizures of computers (and I don't mean OS freeze-ups) so I'll make sure everything on my little Mac is backed up before I head off. Wish me luck and a free pass. I've got nothing crucial planned for next week, though, so if I get tossed in the slammer, it's not the end of the world.
Sunday, August 31, 2008
Sunday, March 16, 2008
Interview with The Karmapa
Since he leapt from the roof of his monastery in Tibet at age fourteen and fled Chinese rule, Ogyen Trinley Dorje, the young Karmapa Lama has kept a low international profile. He is notoriously inaccessible and circumspect, especially on political topics.
In the spring of 2006 I met with him at his residence near Dharamsala, India, and we spoke via translator for roughly twenty minutes on issues of spirituality in a fearful world, relations with the Chinese government, his childhood in Tibet, and the possibility of having to fill the sensible shoes of the Dalai Lama as public representative of the Tibetan people should the Dalai Lama no longer be able to continue his active role.
Officially, the Karmapa - now 22 years old - is not in line for the Dalai Lama’s monastic position. The Dalai Lama is head of the Gelugpa sect and the Karmapa is leader of the Kagyu sect; but upon the demise of the Dalai Lama, who is now 73 years old, the world will look to the Karmapa as the Tibetan people’s spiritual ambassador to the world.
-- INTERVIEW WITH HIS HOLINESS THE KARMAPA LAMA --
Q: According to your faith, this is your 17th reincarnation as a Buddhist leader. How does it feel to have such a long history of service behind you? It must be a lot of pressure.
A: We have many things in this world that have existed for a thousand years, but these are entirely different. It’s not many people, it’s one individual.
Q: You are this individual?
A: Yes.
Q: Don’t you ever want to take a break from being a spiritual leader for a lifetime or two?
A: According to Buddhist religion, it has been predicted that there will be over twenty incarnations, some predict twenty five or more, it is not clear, but after that, my spirit will be incarnated somewhere else. Perhaps on another world.
Q: Tell us about your spiritual path at the moment.
A: At the present, I am mostly engaged in Dharma studies, but I also do some meditation, more of it when I have the time. At the moment I am trying to get teachings from many different sources, inside and outside the Buddhist traditions. Today I’m studying Wajayana.
Q:If the Buddha were on the earth today, what do you think he’d be doing, saying?
A: “We need freedom. We need peace.”
Q: In the world?
A: In the world.
Q: Is the Buddha on earth today?
A: The Buddha’s mind is still alive, although his body is not. Love and compassion are in the world, for example. In this way he is alive.
Q: There is a lot of fear in the world. Many people are despairing and losing their hope that the world is getting better. What can you say to them to help them with their fear?
A: It all depends upon the mind. In my environment here, I am free of the influences of the world that foster fear. One doesn’t necessarily need to take refuge or do meditation. You can choose to have peace of mind and be free of fear if you don’t allow the fear to influence you. If you live your life without harming others and keep your own mind free of negative emotions such as anger and aggression it will come more easily for you. It is these negative emotions that enable the fear within you.
Q: If you could meet with Chinese President Hu tomorrow, what would you say to him?
A: If I had the freedom to speak, and the courage to speak, I would say that the problem between our two countries - the struggle - should be settled. I have a great interest in settling this for the benefit of Tibet, but also for China. I want to help both countries. I have the same feelings toward both countries.
Q: His Holiness The Dalai Lama enjoys huge international prestige and diplomatic responsibilities. How do you feel about the prospect of helping him with his work and perhaps eventually taking the mantle of leadership from him?
A: I’ll have to see the necessity/importance of doing the same as the Dalai Lama in the future. If the times need me to have a high profile and travel and meet with important people, than I will. But if there is no need, then maybe not.
Q: I read that as a child you rode goats around in the countryside? What is it like to ride a goat?
A: We were just playing. I would play around with them, and sometimes I would ride them. It’s fun.
========================
Additional points of information:
- The Karmapa’s website
- The Tibetan government in exile has administration offices in Dharmsala, India.
- Unless Chinese officials release the Panchen Lama from “house arrest” in an undisclosed location inside China, the Karmapa would be the only adult Tibetan Buddhist leader of this rank free to speak.
- There is another Tibetan monk who claims to be the Karmapa Lama but the Dalai Lama recognizes Ogyen Trinley Dorje, (the man interviewed here) to be the 17th incarnation of the Karmapa Lama, the leader of the Kagyu sect.
In the spring of 2006 I met with him at his residence near Dharamsala, India, and we spoke via translator for roughly twenty minutes on issues of spirituality in a fearful world, relations with the Chinese government, his childhood in Tibet, and the possibility of having to fill the sensible shoes of the Dalai Lama as public representative of the Tibetan people should the Dalai Lama no longer be able to continue his active role.
Officially, the Karmapa - now 22 years old - is not in line for the Dalai Lama’s monastic position. The Dalai Lama is head of the Gelugpa sect and the Karmapa is leader of the Kagyu sect; but upon the demise of the Dalai Lama, who is now 73 years old, the world will look to the Karmapa as the Tibetan people’s spiritual ambassador to the world.
-- INTERVIEW WITH HIS HOLINESS THE KARMAPA LAMA --
Q: According to your faith, this is your 17th reincarnation as a Buddhist leader. How does it feel to have such a long history of service behind you? It must be a lot of pressure.
A: We have many things in this world that have existed for a thousand years, but these are entirely different. It’s not many people, it’s one individual.
Q: You are this individual?
A: Yes.
Q: Don’t you ever want to take a break from being a spiritual leader for a lifetime or two?
A: According to Buddhist religion, it has been predicted that there will be over twenty incarnations, some predict twenty five or more, it is not clear, but after that, my spirit will be incarnated somewhere else. Perhaps on another world.
Q: Tell us about your spiritual path at the moment.
A: At the present, I am mostly engaged in Dharma studies, but I also do some meditation, more of it when I have the time. At the moment I am trying to get teachings from many different sources, inside and outside the Buddhist traditions. Today I’m studying Wajayana.
Q:If the Buddha were on the earth today, what do you think he’d be doing, saying?
A: “We need freedom. We need peace.”
Q: In the world?
A: In the world.
Q: Is the Buddha on earth today?
A: The Buddha’s mind is still alive, although his body is not. Love and compassion are in the world, for example. In this way he is alive.
Q: There is a lot of fear in the world. Many people are despairing and losing their hope that the world is getting better. What can you say to them to help them with their fear?
A: It all depends upon the mind. In my environment here, I am free of the influences of the world that foster fear. One doesn’t necessarily need to take refuge or do meditation. You can choose to have peace of mind and be free of fear if you don’t allow the fear to influence you. If you live your life without harming others and keep your own mind free of negative emotions such as anger and aggression it will come more easily for you. It is these negative emotions that enable the fear within you.
Q: If you could meet with Chinese President Hu tomorrow, what would you say to him?
A: If I had the freedom to speak, and the courage to speak, I would say that the problem between our two countries - the struggle - should be settled. I have a great interest in settling this for the benefit of Tibet, but also for China. I want to help both countries. I have the same feelings toward both countries.
Q: His Holiness The Dalai Lama enjoys huge international prestige and diplomatic responsibilities. How do you feel about the prospect of helping him with his work and perhaps eventually taking the mantle of leadership from him?
A: I’ll have to see the necessity/importance of doing the same as the Dalai Lama in the future. If the times need me to have a high profile and travel and meet with important people, than I will. But if there is no need, then maybe not.
Q: I read that as a child you rode goats around in the countryside? What is it like to ride a goat?
A: We were just playing. I would play around with them, and sometimes I would ride them. It’s fun.
========================
Additional points of information:
- The Karmapa’s website
- The Tibetan government in exile has administration offices in Dharmsala, India.
- Unless Chinese officials release the Panchen Lama from “house arrest” in an undisclosed location inside China, the Karmapa would be the only adult Tibetan Buddhist leader of this rank free to speak.
- There is another Tibetan monk who claims to be the Karmapa Lama but the Dalai Lama recognizes Ogyen Trinley Dorje, (the man interviewed here) to be the 17th incarnation of the Karmapa Lama, the leader of the Kagyu sect.
Wednesday, March 05, 2008
Avery’s Midterm Exam - Civics for Douchebags

As big bad school nightmares go, everyone has the one where you sleep through the alarm and miss the big exam. And everyone has the one where you’re the only kid naked at the class assembly. But how about the one where you call the superintendent a “douchebag” on your blog and it ends up being debated in federal court? That’s the personal nightmare of seventeen-year-old Avery Doninger, whose case came up this week before the justices of the US Second Circuit.
Avery, her mother and her grandmother came to the imposing new Moynihan building yesterday to watch her attorney, Jon Schoenhorn, argue her case before three august lady justices. On the surface, what’s at stake is Avery’s claim to the office of secretary of her class, the senior class at Lewis S. Mills High School in Burlington, Connecticut. But the leviathan below the surface is the First Amendment, and a student’s right to say what she wants on her own blog with her own computer from her own home.
Last April, school administrators moved to cancel “Jamfest,” a battle of the bands Avery had been organizing. On her blog that evening, her post read “Jamfest is canceled due to douchebags in central office.” Very little came of it until a few days later when the son of Superintendent Paula Schwartz found the posting while trolling the internet on behalf of his mother. (If a tree falls in cyberspace, it doesn’t make a sound until someone Googles it.) Avery won the class election last spring with write-in ballots, but school officials withheld her right to serve.
Avery is a sharp kid, a good kid, not the “Bong hits for Jesus” kind of troublemaker or the kind of kid you’d expect to use the term “douchebag” (she spells it as one word) in polite company. This, of course, is part of the point. A blog is more like a diary than a bulletin board, but in the world of the internet, any particular blog is just as accessible as a bulletin board. And the test of whether any particular “speech” is likely to be seen or heard on school property is a distinction that no longer differentiates.
As Avery’s School Board sees it, (and Judge Kravitz of the New Haven District Court agreed), serving on student council is a privilege, not a right, and school officials have a duty to pick and choose candidates with exemplary modes of behavior and decorum. (Never mind the fact that another student who referred to the superintendent as a “dirty whore” was given an award and lauded for citizenship.)
Avery sat quietly in her sensible skirt and flats while Schoenhorn argued passionately on her behalf. There was lively cross examination as the judges considered whether “douchebag” might be vulgar, obscene, or just offensive; and whether Avery had been inciting her classmates to disruptive behavior. More than awed, Avery was justifiably amused by the proceedings; she felt more troubled by her mother’s visible distress, than by the opposing lawyer’s claims.
This was the last case to be heard this Tuesday, and discussion ranged far beyond the allotted time. “What if Avery had said, ‘Kill the principal,’” one justice asked. “What if there were no rules on what a student could say?” But over time the arguments boiled down to two salient issues. One, offensive language can clearly be controlled on school grounds, but can’t possibly be prohibited everywhere. In this case, the internet has to be a place where free speech is allowed. Two, speech that is disruptive to the educational environment can be limited, even off school grounds, but Avery’s blog entries seem to have been only mildly disruptive, and probably justifiably so.
Avery’s final year of primary education is nearly three-quarters finished, and her sights are set on her first year in the free world. She may go to college in Boston, she may spend a year or two in Americorps. Avery and her supporters were in court yesterday for the principle, not the principal.
If this injunction is denied and she doesn’t speak before her class at commencement this spring, it’s clearly not the end of the world, and that might be just as well. We’ve all had that dream where we’re standing at the podium and our entire high school class is before us... Still, for Avery, nightmares do come true; and they’re not necessarily all that bad.
For more detailed information, and plenty of attitude, see Andy Thibault's blog - Cool Justice Report
Wednesday, January 10, 2007
Victory in Iraq!
Dubya and his buddies in the press, (Paula Zahn at CNN this evening, for one), are still hung up on the Victory issue. But really, who can blame them? This whole “war” thing is starting to smell bad and this is their last chance to save face for all the mongering they’ve been doing for the five years 2001-2006.
Since any pragmatic assessment of the situation yields a verdict of loss, loss and loss on all sides, may I propose a more ego-saving process? Let’s judge victory on the same terms by which we judge our sporting events. If Victory must be proclaimed, (and it must) let us decide it as they do in the boxing ring, on the basis of damage done.
Let's send a tuxedoed judge to the White House with a microphone: "Civilians Killed - Iraq: 982. US: 300,000. Soldiers killed - Iraq: 3,012. US: 7,820. Value of infrastructure destroyed: Iraq: Two trillion dollars. US: Two gazillion bazillion dollars!" He shall lift Dubya's little fist into the air, and loudly proclaim, "The clear winner of the Iraq War, George W. Bush and the American Military Industrial Complex!"
Since any pragmatic assessment of the situation yields a verdict of loss, loss and loss on all sides, may I propose a more ego-saving process? Let’s judge victory on the same terms by which we judge our sporting events. If Victory must be proclaimed, (and it must) let us decide it as they do in the boxing ring, on the basis of damage done.
Let's send a tuxedoed judge to the White House with a microphone: "Civilians Killed - Iraq: 982. US: 300,000. Soldiers killed - Iraq: 3,012. US: 7,820. Value of infrastructure destroyed: Iraq: Two trillion dollars. US: Two gazillion bazillion dollars!" He shall lift Dubya's little fist into the air, and loudly proclaim, "The clear winner of the Iraq War, George W. Bush and the American Military Industrial Complex!"
Wednesday, December 20, 2006
Bigger Guns
The world's Cowboy in Chief announced today that he's pointed his wagon in the direction of more troops for Iraq and a larger military in general for the long haul, which strikes me as akin to an aging Casanova thinking that perhaps he'd get chicks like he used to if he only had an even bigger dick. Our blinkered president Bush will probably never understand how guns and bombs and brute force is never going to solve the problems of fundamentalist extremism, but I have hope for our greater electoral masses catching on.
I'm curious, however, are there loud and reasonable voices on the side of understanding the "enemy" and sharing the pie, or are we left with nothing but flakes and kibutzniks to argue on the side of reason and progress?
I'm curious, however, are there loud and reasonable voices on the side of understanding the "enemy" and sharing the pie, or are we left with nothing but flakes and kibutzniks to argue on the side of reason and progress?
Thursday, December 07, 2006
Cafe Society
McNally Robinson Bookstore Cafe
Prince Street, Nolita, NYC
11:30 AM
Ten patrons, eight laptops, arranged along the walls, facing in. All of us quietly tapping away. We're each doing his or her own thing here, but we could be doing it alone at home. We've come here to do it in the company of others. Five minutes ago, I decided this might be something to mention on my blog, and here it is, up for anyone with a connection around the planet, or right across the room to read.
If this seems mundane, and I must admit it does to me, then you get half of my point, because it is truly remarkable that in less than a quarter century the computer has come out of the basement of the science building and into the cafe in such a pervasive way, and that gives any poor writer the means to reach the world with his thoughts. This is a profound step for humankind; perhaps the more powerful for how gently it has worked its way into our lives. Just a few New Yorkers looking at their mail, writing to friends, maybe finishing up a novel, having a cup of coffee.
Prince Street, Nolita, NYC
11:30 AM
Ten patrons, eight laptops, arranged along the walls, facing in. All of us quietly tapping away. We're each doing his or her own thing here, but we could be doing it alone at home. We've come here to do it in the company of others. Five minutes ago, I decided this might be something to mention on my blog, and here it is, up for anyone with a connection around the planet, or right across the room to read.
If this seems mundane, and I must admit it does to me, then you get half of my point, because it is truly remarkable that in less than a quarter century the computer has come out of the basement of the science building and into the cafe in such a pervasive way, and that gives any poor writer the means to reach the world with his thoughts. This is a profound step for humankind; perhaps the more powerful for how gently it has worked its way into our lives. Just a few New Yorkers looking at their mail, writing to friends, maybe finishing up a novel, having a cup of coffee.
Monday, March 21, 2005
Greenspan Throws Weight Behind Buck-Burning Program
by Kurt Opprecht
Federal Reserve Chairman and dark horse candidate to succeed Pope John-Paul II, Alan Greenspan, has reportedly given his approval to a long-awaited White House plan for boosting the US Dollar.
The proposal, which Oval Office staff have dubbed “Prairie Fire,” provides tax credits for Americans who destroy American currency. According to the classic laws of supply and demand, for each dollar destroyed by burning or “mulching,” all remaining dollars become incrementally more valuable. Tentative benefit limits are set at $1,000 per household, or $500 per native-born American. To be eligible for the income tax credits, documentation of the destruction would be required and extra tax credits would be offered to “Small Businesses” in red states who contract to shred and verify, much like Halliburton.
The once-vaunted American dollar has taken a beating since January 2002, falling more than 50% vis-à-vis the Euro, due to the current Administration’s massive trade and budget deficits. Fortunately for President Bush and the businesses who benefit from the Republican party’s tax-cut mantra, China and Japan continue to fund the US government’s borrowing, with their purchase of US Treasury Bills, despite the bills’ shrinking yields.
“We’ve been eating Chinese take-out for too long, and now we’re getting hungry again,” Bush said in a mock news conference Friday. “This is a way that every American can play a part in supporting the dollar and reducing the size of liberal spending...and support Freedom.”
In a surprising second prong to the attack, the President is floating a trial balloon to link the dollar to the South African Rand. Early plans for an innovative third prong, in which President Bush revived his pledge to inhabit Mars and create a dollar-only free trade zone where visitors to the Red Planet could shop duty-free, have been scrapped, White House sources are quick to interject.
Legitimate news sources are still awaiting confirmation of “Operation Prairie Fire,” but White House softballer and gay porn poster-boy Jammes Guckert, aka Jeff Gannon, in his reprised capacity as gun-for-hire, has confirmed for NY Gang the program’s general outline.
© Kurt Opprecht, 2005
Federal Reserve Chairman and dark horse candidate to succeed Pope John-Paul II, Alan Greenspan, has reportedly given his approval to a long-awaited White House plan for boosting the US Dollar.
The proposal, which Oval Office staff have dubbed “Prairie Fire,” provides tax credits for Americans who destroy American currency. According to the classic laws of supply and demand, for each dollar destroyed by burning or “mulching,” all remaining dollars become incrementally more valuable. Tentative benefit limits are set at $1,000 per household, or $500 per native-born American. To be eligible for the income tax credits, documentation of the destruction would be required and extra tax credits would be offered to “Small Businesses” in red states who contract to shred and verify, much like Halliburton.
The once-vaunted American dollar has taken a beating since January 2002, falling more than 50% vis-à-vis the Euro, due to the current Administration’s massive trade and budget deficits. Fortunately for President Bush and the businesses who benefit from the Republican party’s tax-cut mantra, China and Japan continue to fund the US government’s borrowing, with their purchase of US Treasury Bills, despite the bills’ shrinking yields.
“We’ve been eating Chinese take-out for too long, and now we’re getting hungry again,” Bush said in a mock news conference Friday. “This is a way that every American can play a part in supporting the dollar and reducing the size of liberal spending...and support Freedom.”
In a surprising second prong to the attack, the President is floating a trial balloon to link the dollar to the South African Rand. Early plans for an innovative third prong, in which President Bush revived his pledge to inhabit Mars and create a dollar-only free trade zone where visitors to the Red Planet could shop duty-free, have been scrapped, White House sources are quick to interject.
Legitimate news sources are still awaiting confirmation of “Operation Prairie Fire,” but White House softballer and gay porn poster-boy Jammes Guckert, aka Jeff Gannon, in his reprised capacity as gun-for-hire, has confirmed for NY Gang the program’s general outline.
© Kurt Opprecht, 2005
Monday, February 28, 2005
Guckergate and the Death of Deep Throat
By Matthew Reiss
with Kurt Opprecht
Not since Watergate has the press held so deftly between its fingers the fate of an administration. With the same ferocity that the media pounced when Lewinsky threatened our way of life, America’s press corps is lying in wait for the precise moment to expose how right wing, gay escort service poster boy James Guckert was planted in the White House press corps. Rumblings behind newsroom doors conceal a scandal so foul it could land the Bush administration somewhere between Crawford and the Rio Grande. Could there be a better send off to dying Watergate whistleblower, “Deep Throat?”
Guckert was trained by Karl Rove’s mentor, paid by the firm of a Texas GOP delegate and made privy to a secret report that outed CIA operative Valerie Palme. Wearing phony press credentials issued by the White House, the ex-Marine tossed Bush-league softball questions at GOP press flacks, deflecting the nation’s attention away from real issues for over two years.
Early indications rate Guckert’s political connections as top shelf, forcing the nation’s political columnists to put off their vacation plans, pack an extra suitcase and await the call to hearings at the capital rotunda. The Washington Hilton, say sources familiar with hotel operations, is taking no reservations. “Guckergate” will achieve World Series of Scandal status within a few hours of the announcement.
Scandals are ugly. But when the fallout splashes up and sullies the media, the baying of bloodhounds turns shrill. No news team that was ignored while Guckert basked in national attention can ignore a chink this wide in White House armor. Rove’s media mastery will wilt when archival video of warm smiles between Guckert and Bush start streaming across CNN like Monica fawning at President Bill.
The apparent calm before the storm seems to suggest an overflow of political correctness over Guckert’s same-sex marketing preference,(not that there’s anything wrong with marketing). Don’t be fooled. In reality, the delay signifies that the learned heads of the news business are laying in wait until there’s an open shot at the jugular.
It belies a precedent in journalistic muscle flexing that ended a similarly potent political phenomenon during the Cold War. Joseph McCarthy tore relentlessly through America’s democratic institutions until the specter of homosexuality was skillfully raised against his Senate Investigations Committee counsel, Roy Cohn.
Cohn had taken it personally when the Army ordered his attractive young protégé, Private David Schien, to ship off to Europe. Called to defend the Army’s actions, attorney Joseph Welsh, took advantage. Welsh asked McCarthy about the origins of a controversial piece of evidence, used against his client: “If it didn't come from Private Schien,” asked Welsh, “where did it come from? The pixies?” McCarthy took the bait. “Pixie, what's a pixie?” he answered. “A pixie is a close relation to a fairy,” answered Welch, a reference to the then-closeted Mr. Cohn.
The brief unclenching of McCarthy’s grip on public opinion allowed reporters weary of McCarthy’s record of ruination a chance to strike back. For the first time, articles critical of the senator and his counsel made news. McCarthyism never recovered. Will Bush?
The post-Watergate press rarely pulled a punch in the years that followed Nixon’s undoing. That is, until Rove made the broadsheets beg and the networks dance on their hind legs. But bloodied so early in its second term, nothing can weaken the media’s resolve to rumble on the administration’s thin ice. Surely the industry’s fear of losing access to precious sound bytes in reprisal for running critical reports, will dissolve in the face of so glaring--and potentially saleable--a scandal as this.
Stories about misleading motives behind the declaration of war on Iraq, about torture or election irregularities are one thing. But when the President snubs newsmen on national TV and calls on some hombre’s boy toy (not that there’s anything wrong with prostitution), newsmen get crazy for a smoking gun. Moralizing talk-radio hosts, who came to prominence when the giant Lewinski scandal shook the Earth, are already looking for a new king of kings.
More pertinent to Guckergate’s prospects than what Deep Throat told Woodward, however, is Carl Bernstein’s 1977 Rolling Stone article, “The CIA and the Media.” In it he outed the agency’s use of American news media for recruiting spies, for information gathering and dissemination, and revealed that the program was successfully covered-up by former CIA director George H.W. Bush. Recent reports that the Bush II administration is secretly paying off journalists to promote White House programs, calls into question whether the practice was stopped after Watergate. At risk is the very integrity of America’s free press.
Whether Bernstein’s report foreshadowed the networks’ downplaying of computer vote hacking investigations, exit poll incongruities and slow-counting Ohio, is so last year. Photographs of Gluckert’s White House smile—-one atop his spread-eagle body, another in nothing but briefs and dog tags--are already steaming up the internet. On one web site he literally advertised himself as a “talkative . . . top” and rented himself out by the hour.
So dust off your wide-screen TV and get current on your cable bill. Karl Rove’s lapdog is pumped up on steroids and digging dirt like a pit bull. Rest dear Deep Throat. Rest in peace.
© New York Gang, 2005.
with Kurt Opprecht
Not since Watergate has the press held so deftly between its fingers the fate of an administration. With the same ferocity that the media pounced when Lewinsky threatened our way of life, America’s press corps is lying in wait for the precise moment to expose how right wing, gay escort service poster boy James Guckert was planted in the White House press corps. Rumblings behind newsroom doors conceal a scandal so foul it could land the Bush administration somewhere between Crawford and the Rio Grande. Could there be a better send off to dying Watergate whistleblower, “Deep Throat?”
Guckert was trained by Karl Rove’s mentor, paid by the firm of a Texas GOP delegate and made privy to a secret report that outed CIA operative Valerie Palme. Wearing phony press credentials issued by the White House, the ex-Marine tossed Bush-league softball questions at GOP press flacks, deflecting the nation’s attention away from real issues for over two years.
Early indications rate Guckert’s political connections as top shelf, forcing the nation’s political columnists to put off their vacation plans, pack an extra suitcase and await the call to hearings at the capital rotunda. The Washington Hilton, say sources familiar with hotel operations, is taking no reservations. “Guckergate” will achieve World Series of Scandal status within a few hours of the announcement.
Scandals are ugly. But when the fallout splashes up and sullies the media, the baying of bloodhounds turns shrill. No news team that was ignored while Guckert basked in national attention can ignore a chink this wide in White House armor. Rove’s media mastery will wilt when archival video of warm smiles between Guckert and Bush start streaming across CNN like Monica fawning at President Bill.
The apparent calm before the storm seems to suggest an overflow of political correctness over Guckert’s same-sex marketing preference,(not that there’s anything wrong with marketing). Don’t be fooled. In reality, the delay signifies that the learned heads of the news business are laying in wait until there’s an open shot at the jugular.
It belies a precedent in journalistic muscle flexing that ended a similarly potent political phenomenon during the Cold War. Joseph McCarthy tore relentlessly through America’s democratic institutions until the specter of homosexuality was skillfully raised against his Senate Investigations Committee counsel, Roy Cohn.
Cohn had taken it personally when the Army ordered his attractive young protégé, Private David Schien, to ship off to Europe. Called to defend the Army’s actions, attorney Joseph Welsh, took advantage. Welsh asked McCarthy about the origins of a controversial piece of evidence, used against his client: “If it didn't come from Private Schien,” asked Welsh, “where did it come from? The pixies?” McCarthy took the bait. “Pixie, what's a pixie?” he answered. “A pixie is a close relation to a fairy,” answered Welch, a reference to the then-closeted Mr. Cohn.
The brief unclenching of McCarthy’s grip on public opinion allowed reporters weary of McCarthy’s record of ruination a chance to strike back. For the first time, articles critical of the senator and his counsel made news. McCarthyism never recovered. Will Bush?
The post-Watergate press rarely pulled a punch in the years that followed Nixon’s undoing. That is, until Rove made the broadsheets beg and the networks dance on their hind legs. But bloodied so early in its second term, nothing can weaken the media’s resolve to rumble on the administration’s thin ice. Surely the industry’s fear of losing access to precious sound bytes in reprisal for running critical reports, will dissolve in the face of so glaring--and potentially saleable--a scandal as this.
Stories about misleading motives behind the declaration of war on Iraq, about torture or election irregularities are one thing. But when the President snubs newsmen on national TV and calls on some hombre’s boy toy (not that there’s anything wrong with prostitution), newsmen get crazy for a smoking gun. Moralizing talk-radio hosts, who came to prominence when the giant Lewinski scandal shook the Earth, are already looking for a new king of kings.
More pertinent to Guckergate’s prospects than what Deep Throat told Woodward, however, is Carl Bernstein’s 1977 Rolling Stone article, “The CIA and the Media.” In it he outed the agency’s use of American news media for recruiting spies, for information gathering and dissemination, and revealed that the program was successfully covered-up by former CIA director George H.W. Bush. Recent reports that the Bush II administration is secretly paying off journalists to promote White House programs, calls into question whether the practice was stopped after Watergate. At risk is the very integrity of America’s free press.
Whether Bernstein’s report foreshadowed the networks’ downplaying of computer vote hacking investigations, exit poll incongruities and slow-counting Ohio, is so last year. Photographs of Gluckert’s White House smile—-one atop his spread-eagle body, another in nothing but briefs and dog tags--are already steaming up the internet. On one web site he literally advertised himself as a “talkative . . . top” and rented himself out by the hour.
So dust off your wide-screen TV and get current on your cable bill. Karl Rove’s lapdog is pumped up on steroids and digging dirt like a pit bull. Rest dear Deep Throat. Rest in peace.
© New York Gang, 2005.
Monday, February 21, 2005
From the desk of CIA Director, Porter Goss
By Kurt Opprecht, with Matthew Reiss
To Do List: Week One
Finish memo for nominations to new Axis of Evil
Pick up night vision reading glasses from repair dept
Secure final details for “shooting date” with Rummy and Dick (+ find a new bp vest)
Grab one of those Space Pens off Negroponte’s desk
Mexico: Sleeping Giant! (Hispanic cells: El Qaeda?)
Bigger flag for office
Any good KGB agents left to recruit? (“Left” – Ha)
Photo op with Paris H and Pamela A for anti-spyware ad
Apply for trademarks: “Freedom” and “Democracy”
Hollow out Bible for candy storage
Start blog. (Working title: Daily Goss?)
Squelching, squelching, squelching!
MilitaryStud.com – unsubscribe
Find Ukrainian dioxin soup recipe
Download Pres. Medal of Freedom application form
Arabic calligraphy practice
Meet with Alberto on new “torture” definition
Sign off on wiretaps for Planned Parenthood
See about extending Barbara Boxer’s Guantanamo “tour”
Remember: dinner tonight with Deep Throat at Novacs’s
-30-
By Kurt Opprecht, with Matthew Reiss
Copyright New York Gang, 2005.
This commentary is available for publication.
Contact Kurt, at KurtOpprecht@rcn.com.
To Do List: Week One
Finish memo for nominations to new Axis of Evil
Pick up night vision reading glasses from repair dept
Secure final details for “shooting date” with Rummy and Dick (+ find a new bp vest)
Grab one of those Space Pens off Negroponte’s desk
Mexico: Sleeping Giant! (Hispanic cells: El Qaeda?)
Bigger flag for office
Any good KGB agents left to recruit? (“Left” – Ha)
Photo op with Paris H and Pamela A for anti-spyware ad
Apply for trademarks: “Freedom” and “Democracy”
Hollow out Bible for candy storage
Start blog. (Working title: Daily Goss?)
Squelching, squelching, squelching!
MilitaryStud.com – unsubscribe
Find Ukrainian dioxin soup recipe
Download Pres. Medal of Freedom application form
Arabic calligraphy practice
Meet with Alberto on new “torture” definition
Sign off on wiretaps for Planned Parenthood
See about extending Barbara Boxer’s Guantanamo “tour”
Remember: dinner tonight with Deep Throat at Novacs’s
-30-
By Kurt Opprecht, with Matthew Reiss
Copyright New York Gang, 2005.
This commentary is available for publication.
Contact Kurt, at KurtOpprecht@rcn.com.
Monday, February 14, 2005
Social Security: Sample Republican Constituent Letter
by Kurt Opprecht
Courtesy of the House & Senate Republican Conference
Dear John Q. Public,
Thank you for contacting me regarding Social Security. Karl Rove and the GOP messaging team have made this a priority issue, so it's natural that you're scared to death.
Our bloated government is now paying the price for having funded Social Security on what is basically a pyramid scheme. In 1950, there were 16 workers paying into Social Security for every one beneficiary. But when younger workers retire, there will only be two workers contributing, one of which will be Hispanic. It's true that the Social Security Trust Fund is now running surpluses, (that's part of what's keeping the budget deficit as small as it is) but our own "accountants" assure us these funds will be depleted by 2042. Waiting until then would give liberals the opportunity to change the triply regressive Social Security tax base. That is why we are fomenting a "crisis" now.
Blue state Democrats like John Kerry, Hillary Clinton and Alec Baldwin want our most patriotic citizens to fork over payroll tax on annual income over $90,000, and thus pay into to Social Security all year long like a minimum-wage waitress. That's the easy way out. From Christopher Columbus to Evel Knievel, America has been a land of adventurers and risk-takers. Shouldn't our government institutions reflect our adventurous nature?
We must destroy Social Security in order to save it. Please support me and our very moral president in taking swift, resolute, and risky measures before Hollywood and the liberal media hijack the issue with their lies. I believe that creating personal accounts that allow our savvy workers to invest their own Social Security funds in fine companies such as Halliburton, Union Carbide and Monsanto will help distract attention from the funding issue. It's true that the transition to private accounts will cost trillions of dollars, but rest assured that this money will go into the private sector -- executives, lawyers, bankers and brokers, all of them patriotic U.S. citizens -- not the U.S. Government.
The time has come to stop asking our Social Security System to be a huge safety net for America's old and crippled. I ask you, what good is a safety net if it's supported on the back of the American taxpayer?
Heartfelt and sincerely,
Member, United States Congress
-30-
Copyright Kurt Opprecht, 2005
Courtesy of the House & Senate Republican Conference
Dear John Q. Public,
Thank you for contacting me regarding Social Security. Karl Rove and the GOP messaging team have made this a priority issue, so it's natural that you're scared to death.
Our bloated government is now paying the price for having funded Social Security on what is basically a pyramid scheme. In 1950, there were 16 workers paying into Social Security for every one beneficiary. But when younger workers retire, there will only be two workers contributing, one of which will be Hispanic. It's true that the Social Security Trust Fund is now running surpluses, (that's part of what's keeping the budget deficit as small as it is) but our own "accountants" assure us these funds will be depleted by 2042. Waiting until then would give liberals the opportunity to change the triply regressive Social Security tax base. That is why we are fomenting a "crisis" now.
Blue state Democrats like John Kerry, Hillary Clinton and Alec Baldwin want our most patriotic citizens to fork over payroll tax on annual income over $90,000, and thus pay into to Social Security all year long like a minimum-wage waitress. That's the easy way out. From Christopher Columbus to Evel Knievel, America has been a land of adventurers and risk-takers. Shouldn't our government institutions reflect our adventurous nature?
We must destroy Social Security in order to save it. Please support me and our very moral president in taking swift, resolute, and risky measures before Hollywood and the liberal media hijack the issue with their lies. I believe that creating personal accounts that allow our savvy workers to invest their own Social Security funds in fine companies such as Halliburton, Union Carbide and Monsanto will help distract attention from the funding issue. It's true that the transition to private accounts will cost trillions of dollars, but rest assured that this money will go into the private sector -- executives, lawyers, bankers and brokers, all of them patriotic U.S. citizens -- not the U.S. Government.
The time has come to stop asking our Social Security System to be a huge safety net for America's old and crippled. I ask you, what good is a safety net if it's supported on the back of the American taxpayer?
Heartfelt and sincerely,
Member, United States Congress
-30-
Copyright Kurt Opprecht, 2005
Sunday, February 13, 2005
White House Gambles on Social Security Fix
by Matthew Reiss
The White House today released its list of preferred mutual fund products for social security investment accounts. Taxpayers under 55 who wish to divert up to two thirds of their federal payroll deductions to market accounts are invited to assign such sums by checking a box on their tax returns. Participating firms include both major investment houses and some surprising returnees to the financial game.
Storefront investment firms like Fidelity, Schwab, Merrill Lynch, etc. are expected to command the bulk of social security dollars as a consequence of their promotional savvy. The major firms’ government liaisons convinced campaign officials to make access to the nation’s retirement accounts a Bush Administration priority following a meeting in a 33rd Street parking garage during the Republican National Convention.
While fiscal integrity is central to the administration’s choices, the White House has invited proven high tech fund managers, experts in offshore tax havens and emerging market managers to participate as well. “We’ll be watching them very carefully,” said Treasury Secretary Snow.
The high tech sector will be anchored by Tyclone, LLP, (successor company to Tyco, LLP), World Con, (successor to World Com), and Con Enron--the merger of Enron and a group of low-country grifters. The administration included these bankrupt firms’ successors not merely for their recent growth histories, according to officials, but because ongoing federal hearings will save on exorbitant court filing fees for elderly pensioners who wish to recover benefits during their golden years.
Con Enron will offer investors access to once-exclusive offshore partnerships, Chewco, Osprey and LJM Cayman; proven tax havens, yet to be pierced by federal prosecutorial appointees on loan from Enron’s Houston headquarters.
Those who eschew the large investment houses, with their high overhead costs and expensive promotional budgets, in favor of lower cost pension strategies, should consider the newly emerging southern market—emerging mostly through parole or early release programs. Proponents of the Sunshine State investment vehicles have November referenda in Dade and Broward Counties to thank for the formation of such funds.
Miami’s First Flamingo Fund has been heralded by Wall Street as a major event, while the class of adjacent Broward County’s new financial elite, Hoffa Freres, portends solid returns. Another Sun Belt operator whose quarterly skim has outperformed even its most dubious SEC disclosures is Silverado Hotel & Casino Fund, a subsidiary of Last Resorts International. Like the others, Silverado offers a Craps Fund and Roulette Portfolio, and a reputation for personal attention from their licensed investment croupiers. New Orleans-based Salon Rouge Partners, is making market in Chemin du Ferre, (the French Baccarat Fund), while Loan Star Enterprises is sole internet provider of the aggressive Texas Holdem Ranch & Prison Mortgage Fund.
The president explained that by eliminating controls that restrict competition with financial products currently offered only on Indian reservations, America’s future elderly will be “well taken care of.”
-30-
© Matthew Reiss, 2005
The White House today released its list of preferred mutual fund products for social security investment accounts. Taxpayers under 55 who wish to divert up to two thirds of their federal payroll deductions to market accounts are invited to assign such sums by checking a box on their tax returns. Participating firms include both major investment houses and some surprising returnees to the financial game.
Storefront investment firms like Fidelity, Schwab, Merrill Lynch, etc. are expected to command the bulk of social security dollars as a consequence of their promotional savvy. The major firms’ government liaisons convinced campaign officials to make access to the nation’s retirement accounts a Bush Administration priority following a meeting in a 33rd Street parking garage during the Republican National Convention.
While fiscal integrity is central to the administration’s choices, the White House has invited proven high tech fund managers, experts in offshore tax havens and emerging market managers to participate as well. “We’ll be watching them very carefully,” said Treasury Secretary Snow.
The high tech sector will be anchored by Tyclone, LLP, (successor company to Tyco, LLP), World Con, (successor to World Com), and Con Enron--the merger of Enron and a group of low-country grifters. The administration included these bankrupt firms’ successors not merely for their recent growth histories, according to officials, but because ongoing federal hearings will save on exorbitant court filing fees for elderly pensioners who wish to recover benefits during their golden years.
Con Enron will offer investors access to once-exclusive offshore partnerships, Chewco, Osprey and LJM Cayman; proven tax havens, yet to be pierced by federal prosecutorial appointees on loan from Enron’s Houston headquarters.
Those who eschew the large investment houses, with their high overhead costs and expensive promotional budgets, in favor of lower cost pension strategies, should consider the newly emerging southern market—emerging mostly through parole or early release programs. Proponents of the Sunshine State investment vehicles have November referenda in Dade and Broward Counties to thank for the formation of such funds.
Miami’s First Flamingo Fund has been heralded by Wall Street as a major event, while the class of adjacent Broward County’s new financial elite, Hoffa Freres, portends solid returns. Another Sun Belt operator whose quarterly skim has outperformed even its most dubious SEC disclosures is Silverado Hotel & Casino Fund, a subsidiary of Last Resorts International. Like the others, Silverado offers a Craps Fund and Roulette Portfolio, and a reputation for personal attention from their licensed investment croupiers. New Orleans-based Salon Rouge Partners, is making market in Chemin du Ferre, (the French Baccarat Fund), while Loan Star Enterprises is sole internet provider of the aggressive Texas Holdem Ranch & Prison Mortgage Fund.
The president explained that by eliminating controls that restrict competition with financial products currently offered only on Indian reservations, America’s future elderly will be “well taken care of.”
-30-
© Matthew Reiss, 2005
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
